Grown Ups

You changed and so have I

We can’t get along anymore, no matter how hard we try.

I didn't see it coming this soon, but really, I already knew

That this dreaded day would come, I have to say goodbye to you.

Friendship, yes there was a time we shared it

There was a time we said “Hello” and “farewell” whenever we meet.

You knew how to make me feel better

And I know where to find you so we could waste time together.

There was a time when we were inseparable

But now, seeing us in the same room’s a miracle.

It isn't a fight, we're just drifting apart

New hobbies, new experiences, new people getting in our heart.

But now we’ve grown up, and we forgot about best friends forever,

We’ve outgrown our friendship, and outgrown each other.

I wish...

I wish he didn’t know so many girls because I am afraid to lose him to one of them. I wish he wasn’t so attractive because I am afraid I might have to compete with other girls for him. I wish he hadn’t been with other girls before me because I am afraid that his old feelings will come back for one of them. I wish he didn’t talk to so many girls because I am afraid he’ll slowly lose feelings for me and his interest for another girl will grow the reason why they’ll talk more often. I wish other girls would respect my relationship with him, but I know, some girls don’t really care and aren’t considering how hurt I would be if I were to lose him.

Dealing with my Boyfriend Ex-Girlfriend’s

In social relationships, an Ex is someone with whom a person was once associated. It can be referred to a variety of different relationships. As a noun, Ex is assumed to refer to a former sexual or romantic partner. This often has a derogatory tinge, especially if it refers to unrequited feelings.

Some Ex-girlfriends are harmless and some needs restraining orders. Which of this Exes ready to wreck havoc on your relationship?

This former love interest of your boyfriend have turned us into obsessive compulsive internet stalker, hell bent digging up as much dirt as we can via social medias from facebook to twitter even google. Don’t pretend that you haven’t spent a lone sleepless night facebook stalking these mysterious girls, hoping that you’ll share at least one friend in common, so that you can access their pictures, even their profiles are private.

Am I the only one who shamefully admits to irrationally yet meticulously examining every photo, deconstructing tans, pore size and fine lines or criticizing outfits? Haven’t we all repeatedly gone through the Ex-girlfriend’s profile and photos desperately to find some spelling or grammatical error just to prove that they are stupid? Even using your Boyfriends profile just to invade all those pictures and status that they both shared?

I know it’s foolish, petty and completely pointless--this Ex-girlfriends have completely nothing to do with my life but they consume my free time like an evil voyeuristic addiction.

Let’s face it, most people come into a relationship with a certain amount of baggage. An Ex-girlfriends can cause problems even if she’s no longer around due to the negative effects that either the relationship or the subsequent break-up had on your partner. If your boyfriend is still in touch with his ex, she will be even more of a presence in your lives. If this bothers you, bottling up your feelings won’t get rid of that anxiety and insecurity. In fact, it only likely to make you feel worse in the long term—and it will be difficult not to come access of jealousy and paranoid.

But honestly speaking, I hate Ex-girlfriends. Reality bites, it makes me jealous. I just can’t help but feel a sense of envy that she had him before me and that he had these special feelings for her, and I can’t barely do anything about it.

This may sound so high school but Ex-girlfriends make me doubt myself. I’m obsessed to know why they broke up, if she’s pretty or if he sees me prettier enough. And if she’s pretty I pray to God that she’s an idiot, because at least I’ll have more brains.

On the other hand, if she’s not pretty, then I’ll go crazy wondering if he only date ugly girls and if I’m one of them. Also I assume that she must have an extraordinary quality or personality, so is mine good enough? Probably not.

It’s really bothering if your boyfriend is still in touch with his Ex-girlfriends. If that’s the case gather some proof of dishonesty. But I think if your boyfriend is upfront with everything about his contacts with his ex, there is no reason to worry. Some people are insecure because they were betrayed in their previous relationship or simply have low self-esteem.

The irony of Life:  I only get over with the Ex-girlfriend when I get over the Ex. Usually the feeling of insecurities last only as long as the relationship with my boyfriend lasts. Suddenly, I stop caring about the Ex-girlfriends. She’s not my problem anymore.

Instead I became a despised Ex-girlfriend, unknowingly infiltrating someone else fragile and delicate mind---continuing the cycle of confusion, self doubt and cruel physical comparisons.

But you know, sometimes some people just get in touch with their Ex-girlfriends because they think highly of them as friends. Just trying to keep on mind that even your boyfriend still wants his Ex to be a part of his life, he still choose to be with you. It’s just like you have that qualities that she doesn’t---that he considers you a better match for him.

How to deal with it? Trust your boyfriend until you have a genuine reason to doubt him.

A Guy from our Neighborhood

        I don’t know what it is about relationships and me. I’ve had boyfriends that were not exactly perfect slices of heaven, if you know what I mean.

            
           Jake was nice and cute guy from the same neighborhood I lived in. We’ve been boyfriend and girlfriend. To make a long story short, he’d flatter me nearly to death and I fell for it. You see practically no one paid any attention to me before he did. Not the popular kids in school. Not the boys in the parties or any gathering for the matters.

            
           That really bothered me. Modesty aside, I believe I don’t look so bad myself. But the truth of the matter was, I thought I wasn’t interesting enough for the people who were interesting to me. Until Jake came.

            
            We’ve known each other since we were kids, but Jake and I never really paid any attention to each other until we were in high school. I liked him because he would always smile at me every morning before we left for our respective schools. We’d talk to the phone almost every night and he’d say good things about me. On weekends he’d come over to hang with my friends and me, or I’d go over to their house to help him with some homework or school project. The latter activity became more frequent. I developed a nagging suspicion he was just using me to do his school work for him, especially when I started delaying work on my own just so I could finish his. Of course, my instinct we’re right, but I refused to see it then. Somehow, I was able to convince myself that I was doing the dirty work for him because I loved him. I actually wanted to stop doing his homework and projects, but I didn’t want to get mad at me or worse is to break up with me. Besides, I felt he was taking care of me---offering me merienda, cuddling me and showing me that he really appreciated my work.

            
          But we eventually did break-up right before the school year ended. It was an unfair-lopside relationship, indeed. I felt so bad because the only guy who’d ever noticed me was gone.

            
             Years later I met Tj. He wasn’t nearly that jock that Jake was but he was great anyway. He joked a lot but he wasn’t a jerk. He was sweet, caring, touchy-feely kind of guy. And yes, he made me feel like the most important person in the world. Big challenges came, he wanted in control. He said he did those because he loves me and I believed him.

           
           Tj was really a nice and loving person and I don't want to lose him so I put up with his controlling nature. It was all for naught because after a couple of years he found someone else and left me I was distraught once again.

           
           Looking back at those relationships make me feel like I’m reliving scenes from a bad teen movie. I know things were wrong, but I didn’t do anything about them because I thought I would die if anyone of those boys left me. I obviously didn’t die. And while break-up’s hurt, I got over them anyway.

my grade school friend...

Carlo and I were classmate’s way back grade school. We never had a chance to get close or even chit chat for some reasons, I don't remember. It was almost 16 years ago, never heard of him after elementary graduation.

It was May after a long tiring shift, I do my daily routine which is checking my Facebook account before going to sleep. It was that night when I receive a first message from him. The first ever chit chat with him that ended early in the morning, so I slept late. It was nothing much, more on reminiscing the past. It was after 3-4 consecutive chat days before he finally asked for my number. I honestly didn’t like him at that time but I give him my number anyway just to be nice. Then Carlo started texting me while at work. At the time I still didn’t know he liked me. That’s how oblivious I was. He was asking me to hang-out the moment he arrived home.

Our Third Date

Carlo and I dated for about 6 months before actually we became a couple. Those 6 months were both amazing and challenging at the same time. But all the challenges helped form a strong foundation for our relationship.

One of the challenges was lack of trust between us. There was a long period of time when he found it hard to trust me, it greatly affected our relationship even if I wasn’t doing anything wrong. He was so paranoid and had a difficult time whenever I would go out without him. It took many arguments and numerous talks before I finally convince him that I wouldn’t hurt him. Carlo is a sweetheart and he deserves to be taken care of. I proved to him that it’s not just girls who deserves love and care, but guys as well. Now we both completely trust each other.

Today, we can do anything together---the World is our Playground! We enjoy eachother’s company so much that we have an awesome time whatever we do.

Tea Time

As with any relationship, Carlo and I have disagreements. The good thing is that whenever we have fight, we’re upfront with each other (of course, it wasn’t always like that, but overtime, we’ve learned how to cope with our problems maturely).

I know a lot of girls have crush on him but I rarely get jealous. In fact, I feel happy when girls say they like him because it boosts his self-confidence. I trust him completely so I know I don’t have anything to worry about.

If there’s one thing I've learned from being in a relationship, it is this: Don’t always believe in rumors because there are some people who would do anything to break up a happy couple. If you’re in a relationship, commit yourself to your partner, everyday. It’s not always easy, but that doesn’t mean you should give up when it gets tough. If you really love your partner, you’ll do everything you can to make things work. But never forget that you can’t give another person something you don’t have. Remember to love yourself just as much.

Dinagyang 2014