Infatuation

A crush, though defined as just a fickle liking of someone, is much more. It can be a full throttle passion for someone, an all around obsession. The definition of a crush cannot nearly be defined as a fantasy of dating a certain someone, but also can be defined in the finest detail. Details such as the fact that just a smile can light up your whole entire night or that because he loves the color red, you tend to wear red over any other color.

They say all the drama in your life starts in High-School. Everything would be your first time. But not for me. I was already aware of the matters of the heart even before I entered the High-School world. I was on fifth grade and was crying back then because my so-called friends betrayed me. It started out as a small crush, on the boy who wiped my tears away when I was down. Nobody noticed, except him. I admired him since then, and was contented by keeping it to myself. At first it wasn't that serious, and in time, it faded away. He wasn't exactly cute, he's not a very good person too. This is INFATUATION.

Infatuation is not looking at his face and nearly passing out, but just looking at something like the back of his head and feeling just the same. Admiration brings you through many mesmerizing fantasies, but not only that, through many real adventures. When you have a crush on someone, you make those fantasies as realistic as they can possibly get. If you are dreaming of holding his hand, a crush will bring you on the perilous quest to just touch that hand of his, for whatever reason may be tattooed into your head at the moment.

Too much admiration is something that can also make you miserable. But that must be why they call it a crush, because you go through all of this dreaming, hoping, wishing, praying, go through everything to be turned down in the end. "He never even noticed me; it was like I was never there! I've followed him around at lunch, my fantasy at the moment having been walking side by side with him through the cafeteria, while everyone watched us, and knew we were together. Obviously everyone watched, but that was because they were trying to figure out what a loser like me was doing following Mr. Popularity.

That's when I realized four things: First, Promises become lies when they're broken. The lie becomes the truth behind the promise. Second, Puppy/First Love never lasts, and it CAN'T wait. Only true love can, When you like somebody, you don't expect for anything in return. You're contented as you are, until you will forget it. And lastly, when you love, no matter how slim the chances are, you will wait for that someone to love you back. For the first time, or the second time. In vain, or in great hope. And you will never forget it. You will wait. 

my grade school friend...

Carlo and I were classmate’s way back grade school. We never had a chance to get close or even chit chat for some reasons, I don't remember. It was almost 16 years ago, never heard of him after elementary graduation.

It was May after a long tiring shift, I do my daily routine which is checking my Facebook account before going to sleep. It was that night when I receive a first message from him. The first ever chit chat with him that ended early in the morning, so I slept late. It was nothing much, more on reminiscing the past. It was after 3-4 consecutive chat days before he finally asked for my number. I honestly didn’t like him at that time but I give him my number anyway just to be nice. Then Carlo started texting me while at work. At the time I still didn’t know he liked me. That’s how oblivious I was. He was asking me to hang-out the moment he arrived home.

Our Third Date

Carlo and I dated for about 6 months before actually we became a couple. Those 6 months were both amazing and challenging at the same time. But all the challenges helped form a strong foundation for our relationship.

One of the challenges was lack of trust between us. There was a long period of time when he found it hard to trust me, it greatly affected our relationship even if I wasn’t doing anything wrong. He was so paranoid and had a difficult time whenever I would go out without him. It took many arguments and numerous talks before I finally convince him that I wouldn’t hurt him. Carlo is a sweetheart and he deserves to be taken care of. I proved to him that it’s not just girls who deserves love and care, but guys as well. Now we both completely trust each other.

Today, we can do anything together---the World is our Playground! We enjoy eachother’s company so much that we have an awesome time whatever we do.

Tea Time

As with any relationship, Carlo and I have disagreements. The good thing is that whenever we have fight, we’re upfront with each other (of course, it wasn’t always like that, but overtime, we’ve learned how to cope with our problems maturely).

I know a lot of girls have crush on him but I rarely get jealous. In fact, I feel happy when girls say they like him because it boosts his self-confidence. I trust him completely so I know I don’t have anything to worry about.

If there’s one thing I've learned from being in a relationship, it is this: Don’t always believe in rumors because there are some people who would do anything to break up a happy couple. If you’re in a relationship, commit yourself to your partner, everyday. It’s not always easy, but that doesn’t mean you should give up when it gets tough. If you really love your partner, you’ll do everything you can to make things work. But never forget that you can’t give another person something you don’t have. Remember to love yourself just as much.

Dinagyang 2014