I am brave sometimes. I am
scared sometimes. Sometimes I am brave when I'm scared. I believe in loyalty
and trust. I believe in loyalty is built on trust. I try to be kind. I try to
be generous. I am kind even when others are not so generous. I think standing
up for myself is important. I think standing up for others is more important,
but standing up with others is most important. I believe compassion makes me
strong. Kindness is power and family is the tightest bond of all. I have heard
I am beautiful. I know I am strong. I am a PRINCESS, and I'm embracing it.
"If you keep on
believing, the dreams that you wish will come true..."---Cinderella
I recently received an abrasive and angry text
message from someone falsely accusing me of something that on a personal level.
I was shocked and hurt. My initial instinct was to reply something hurtful back
in an act of self defense. My second instinct was to give him a list of reasons
why he was wrong, in an attempt to refute his false accusations, thus defending
my ego.
In the end my rational self know that engaging with
him would only trigger more negativity, so I did stopped. I woke up the next
morning with defensive thoughts running through my head, like a dark clouds
hovering over me. Thoughts of something keep dancing around my mind that seemed
to be a never ending cycle.
I thought about the anger a lot, and anger usually
thought of being bad and destructive. There are some who argue that this is
misconception. Anger itself is neutral. We may express anger in healthy and
destructive ways. Healthy expression of anger enhances communication and
personal growth.
I hated this feeling, in fact I hated the feeling of
hating this feeling. I’m still pissed at him for the damage he did and at
myself for allowing it all to go on for as long as it did. I came to point of
realizing that he’s not sitting around upset about any of this, I feel stupid, I
let this things happened. I let him control my life and my feelings for too
long already…I refuse to give him any control over how I feel now.
When your hurt by someone you love and trust, you
might become angry, sad or confused. If you dwell on hurtful events or
situations, grudges filled with resentments, vengeance and hostility is
developed. Never allow negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you
might find yourself swallowed-up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. I
knew I had to release this energy to set myself free.
Now, he is no longer in control, his behavior no
longer affect my life…I’m rebuilding my life, my way and be a better person. I am
now responsible for whatever I want to do, what I should feel, how I should
react---I am in control.
Carlo and I were classmate’s way
back grade school. We never had a chance to get close or even chit chat for
some reasons, I don't remember. It was almost 16 years ago, never heard of
him after elementary graduation.
It was May after a long tiring shift,
I do my daily routine which is checking my Facebook account before going to sleep.
It was that night when I receive a first message from him. The first ever chit
chat with him that ended early in the morning, so I slept late. It was nothing
much, more on reminiscing the past. It was after 3-4 consecutive chat days
before he finally asked for my number. I honestly didn’t like him at that time
but I give him my number anyway just to be nice. Then Carlo started texting me
while at work. At the time I still didn’t know he liked me. That’s how
oblivious I was. He was asking me to hang-out the moment he arrived home.
Our Third Date
Carlo and I dated for about 6
months before actually we became a couple. Those 6 months were both amazing and
challenging at the same time. But all the challenges helped form a strong
foundation for our relationship.
One of the challenges was lack of
trust between us. There was a long period of time when he found it hard to
trust me, it greatly affected our relationship even if I wasn’t doing anything
wrong. He was so paranoid and had a difficult time whenever I would go out
without him. It took many arguments and numerous talks before I finally
convince him that I wouldn’t hurt him. Carlo is a sweetheart and he deserves to
be taken care of. I proved to him that it’s not just girls who deserves love
and care, but guys as well. Now we both completely trust each other.
Today, we can do anything
together---the World is our Playground! We enjoy eachother’s company so much
that we have an awesome time whatever we do.
Tea Time
As with any relationship, Carlo
and I have disagreements. The good thing is that whenever we have fight, we’re
upfront with each other (of course, it wasn’t always like that, but overtime,
we’ve learned how to cope with our problems maturely).
I know a lot of girls have crush
on him but I rarely get jealous. In fact, I feel happy when girls say they like
him because it boosts his self-confidence. I trust him completely so I know I
don’t have anything to worry about.
If there’s one thing I've learned
from being in a relationship, it is this: Don’t always believe in rumors
because there are some people who would do anything to break up a happy couple.
If you’re in a relationship, commit yourself to your partner, everyday. It’s
not always easy, but that doesn’t mean you should give up when it gets tough.
If you really love your partner, you’ll do everything you can to make things
work. But never forget that you can’t give another person something you don’t
have. Remember to love yourself just as much.
You don't need another human being to make your life complete, but lets be honest. Having your wounds kissed by someone who doesn't see them as disaster in your soul but cracks to put their love into is the most calming thing in this world.
