Jealousy

It’s easy to over think something and blow it out of proportion. Every moment my Boyfriend mention his Ex-girlfriend’s name, all of a sudden I have a vision of them running off together into the sunset. But, good thing now I would be able to control what I feel and how to react. Maybe sometimes it’s jealousy that kills me. But one thing I am sure about, I love my Boyfriend so much that I am afraid to lose him.

Ex-girlfriend as part of his history

Every time he mentions about his Ex-girlfriend it gives me a headache. However, his constant chatter might actually be an attempt to get closer to me, not push me away. Maybe it’s his way in order to make me understand and know him better. He may think that by divulging about his history, gives me full scoop on where he’s been and how it made him who he is today. I just love to listen when he gives facts about his past, not a sense of lingering attachment that just won’t go away. Just putting my ego aside and reminding myself that these stories have nothing to do with me and our relationship and accept his stories as part of his history before me.

Dealing with my Boyfriend Ex-Girlfriend’s

In social relationships, an Ex is someone with whom a person was once associated. It can be referred to a variety of different relationships. As a noun, Ex is assumed to refer to a former sexual or romantic partner. This often has a derogatory tinge, especially if it refers to unrequited feelings.

Some Ex-girlfriends are harmless and some needs restraining orders. Which of this Exes ready to wreck havoc on your relationship?

This former love interest of your boyfriend have turned us into obsessive compulsive internet stalker, hell bent digging up as much dirt as we can via social medias from facebook to twitter even google. Don’t pretend that you haven’t spent a lone sleepless night facebook stalking these mysterious girls, hoping that you’ll share at least one friend in common, so that you can access their pictures, even their profiles are private.

Am I the only one who shamefully admits to irrationally yet meticulously examining every photo, deconstructing tans, pore size and fine lines or criticizing outfits? Haven’t we all repeatedly gone through the Ex-girlfriend’s profile and photos desperately to find some spelling or grammatical error just to prove that they are stupid? Even using your Boyfriends profile just to invade all those pictures and status that they both shared?

I know it’s foolish, petty and completely pointless--this Ex-girlfriends have completely nothing to do with my life but they consume my free time like an evil voyeuristic addiction.

Let’s face it, most people come into a relationship with a certain amount of baggage. An Ex-girlfriends can cause problems even if she’s no longer around due to the negative effects that either the relationship or the subsequent break-up had on your partner. If your boyfriend is still in touch with his ex, she will be even more of a presence in your lives. If this bothers you, bottling up your feelings won’t get rid of that anxiety and insecurity. In fact, it only likely to make you feel worse in the long term—and it will be difficult not to come access of jealousy and paranoid.

But honestly speaking, I hate Ex-girlfriends. Reality bites, it makes me jealous. I just can’t help but feel a sense of envy that she had him before me and that he had these special feelings for her, and I can’t barely do anything about it.

This may sound so high school but Ex-girlfriends make me doubt myself. I’m obsessed to know why they broke up, if she’s pretty or if he sees me prettier enough. And if she’s pretty I pray to God that she’s an idiot, because at least I’ll have more brains.

On the other hand, if she’s not pretty, then I’ll go crazy wondering if he only date ugly girls and if I’m one of them. Also I assume that she must have an extraordinary quality or personality, so is mine good enough? Probably not.

It’s really bothering if your boyfriend is still in touch with his Ex-girlfriends. If that’s the case gather some proof of dishonesty. But I think if your boyfriend is upfront with everything about his contacts with his ex, there is no reason to worry. Some people are insecure because they were betrayed in their previous relationship or simply have low self-esteem.

The irony of Life:  I only get over with the Ex-girlfriend when I get over the Ex. Usually the feeling of insecurities last only as long as the relationship with my boyfriend lasts. Suddenly, I stop caring about the Ex-girlfriends. She’s not my problem anymore.

Instead I became a despised Ex-girlfriend, unknowingly infiltrating someone else fragile and delicate mind---continuing the cycle of confusion, self doubt and cruel physical comparisons.

But you know, sometimes some people just get in touch with their Ex-girlfriends because they think highly of them as friends. Just trying to keep on mind that even your boyfriend still wants his Ex to be a part of his life, he still choose to be with you. It’s just like you have that qualities that she doesn’t---that he considers you a better match for him.

How to deal with it? Trust your boyfriend until you have a genuine reason to doubt him.

Starting over again and see how to begin...

When I saw the trailer it made me curious about the the story, about the characters in the story and the people who portrays the character in the story. I am a tagalog love story movie lover, indeed.

It was 15th of February, Post Valentines Day when me and my boyfriend decided to watch the movie at Robinson's Cinema, Iloilo on its last full show. I was very excited because it was the first Star Cinema Movie team-up of Toni Gonzaga and Piolo Pascual after their "I love you Piolo" commercial way back late 1990's. 

Synopsis of the Movie:

Ten years ago, Ginny (Toni Gonzaga), an Architecture student, and Marco (Piolo Pascual), a History professor, began a one-of-a-kind and unpredictable love story. In the five years that they were together, they brought out the best in each other, which included Marco’s unrealized dream of becoming a chef. Together, they worked towards their dream of opening up a restaurant, but when Ginny realized her own pursuits were different from his, she rejected his wedding proposal and left the country for a Masters degree in Architecture. At present, Ginny co-owns a one-stop Architecture and Interior Design firm specializing in Restoration. She receives an email from Marco, which was written and sent after their break-up, meant to be read four years later. It makes her feel even more regretful of leaving the love of her life. When their firm receives an offer to restore an old house into a restaurant, she is ecstatic to learn that Marco will be co-owning the restaurant. She takes this as a sign that this will be their second chance they need, but finds out that Marco wants the restaurant ready for his wedding proposal to his US-based girlfriend, Patty De Guia (Iza Calzado). This doesn’t stop Ginny from accepting the project in the hopes of winning back Marco, now very different from the man he used to be. When he learns her motives, he plays along to push her regrets and show that he is much better now. But their actions take a toll on them when they talk about the past, feelings start to get involved, and Patty begins to get suspicions about the two. Can mistakes and wrong decisions be undone to give way to a second chance? Will Ginny get her happy ending with Marco, or is she four years too later?

                                      From: http://starcinema.abs-cbn.com/movies/starting-over-again

Ginny is everything I hated in a woman. She is weak (the opposite of me). She chased after a guy and worst is she is after her ex-boyfriend who is already with someone else (see how stupid?!). She even confronted the girlfriend at the later part of the movie and made the girl feel like a crap. Double loser?! But there is something in Toni portrayal of character that made my heart melt, maybe the honesty and the genuine look of her that made me forgive the things she did. I just think that she is wrong or dumb by doing those confrontation thing. Toni just made the character so annoying, frustrating to ma woman's part but comical as well, not an easy thing to do.

Patty--- the way they drew up Iza's character was superb. A confident fine woman. She was more like a new generation kind of woman, never insecure even she knows that Marco and Jinny are ex-lovers still she puts complete trust to his boyfriend. She keeps her emotions in check when she finds out that Marco is cheating on her. She knows where to put herself, where to react, where to get mad and where to hold on. she gave second chances. She treasures commitment. She is full of surprises. She forgives.

Reality Check, do cheaters deserves second chances? But for me, Patty deserves someone better. The confrontation between Jinny and Patty was like a flashback to me. I was 18, when I had this first serious boyfriend who has an ex-girlfriend who still wants him after their 5 years failed relationship, I was never paranoid nor suspicious, even if I know that they still have communication I just let it be and put total trust on my boyfriend. But it came to a point that the Ex, asked me if we could see each other and talk about something that concerns my boyfriend and because I also want to clear something to her so I decided to meet her up.

This was the most awkward scenario, My boyfriend don't want me to go on my own, meaning he is going with me. At first I was alarmed but I couldn't stop him. On our way to the meeting place, I keep myself calm, relaxed and mellow. The good thing is I anticipated what will happen and I was prepared. Meeting and talking to the Ex was never easy, I maintain my composure, I'm trying to understand every single detail she was saying even if my heart wanted to burst out. The feeling was new to me. It was the first time I felt jealousy, first time I cried for a man, first time I've been tough to state what i feel and the first time I fight for my man. It was never easy. That moment in time, I want to evaporate.

Starting over again is one of the toughest thing a person can be asked to do. Most of us at one point in our lives are forced to move on. Whether your reeling from the loss of a love one, the estrangement of a partner or the severance from a job, taking control of your new circumstances is an important part of your life. 

Reality really bites. Maybe If Jinny said her YES to Marco during the proposal they would never be contented, worst is their life would be miserable. They became a better individual because of that experiences, they pursue their dreams, excel in their chosen fields and become the person they are at present. The new Marco (Patty and the present Jinny loved). Things happen for a reason, whatever the reason is never lose hope.