Being Different

Black sheep is an idiom used to describe an odd or disreputable member of a group. The term has typically been given negative implications, implying waywardness. It derived from atypical and unwanted presence of other black individuals in flock of white sheep.

In most families, there is at least one creative, sensitive or spiritual person who simply doesn’t share the values and lifestyle decisions of the other family members. It is not about who’s right or wrong but rather a question of moving beyond comparisons.

If you happen to be the one in your family who’s different, please know that you are not alone. Many people also have themselves alienated or scorned by some of their relatives. It is more like you are trying to make sense of your place in your family and it became so hurtful. That feeling when every time that you’re around with the family you feel like you’re inside a box, that’s too small. It’s uncomfortable and it hurts right? No allowance for growth.

Another analogy is being inside the forest and not seeing the trees. They are too close. Look at the forest from away. It’s beautiful, lush, flourishing, green. Look at it close up…it’s a bunch of dry, old bark that you can’t really mark its growth standing light in front of you.

Being Important…

It’s easy to see a relationship as the end-all and be-all of your existence. Knowing someone loves you, and only you, and just being able to love me back makes for a exhilarating experiences.

            Let’s face it---it’s flattering to be given that much attention, and it feels good to take care of someone. But what if your boy leaves you and he tells you he doesn’t love you anymore? Feels like the end of the world? For some people, Yes. While the number of suicide cases in the Philippines is still quite low (thank goodness!) compared to those in the US and Japan, teen suicide due to depression are still happening. Many others have admitted actually entertaining suicidal thoughts even they didn’t commit the act.

            It’s easy to think of suicide if you’re looking for the easiest and fastest way to get rid of the pain of being dumped and being “alone” again. But before you go any further, think about how valuable your life is and how it is important than any guy.

            There’s no question that our relationship was important to us, most times, they even help us define who we are. But if you start losing yourself in that relationship, if you are no longer important to yourself as yourself, if you feel you are only important when you are with your guy, that’s not the most ideal place to be in.

            If it is a good relationship---mutual, loving, enriching, not harmful to you or anyone else-then by all means keep it. But do not consider that relationship more important than yourself.

            Continue indulging in your interest. Develop and keep your relationship with family and friends. The more you strengthen the other aspects of your life, the more secure your personal foundation will be.

            Separating from your guy will still hurt, but yourself will be intact. And with your safety net of friends and family, you’ll be back in good form in no time.