past is past!

At least I don't have to exaggerate stories to explain myself. At least I don't have to spend days explaining myself again and again just to get people on my side and destroy others. At least at the end of the day, no matter how convincing one's speeches may be, people still see.

Urrrghhh, I just hate you like I never hated anyone else in my entire life! I've never felt like this towards anyone. Always trying to see the good side even of those that cause me too much harm, every hatred I feel usually doesn't last an hour, every hatred I feel is always under control. So I don't know where this is coming from. 

Maybe it's because that was the first time someone did that to me, or I've given up too much, or that someone is special, or it was all too much to handle, or the wound is just so deep.

Whatever it is, I know there's no enough reason for me to react this way every time someone recalls the past, but for the first time, I can't control it.

Forgive me Lord if I am not strong enough to forgive, as I used to say I'll always be.

With this, I rest my case. Again.