i apologize...

I am a sinner…

I apologize…

I apologized for all the wrongs I have beckoned

And all the words I cut through your heart

For every mistake I said sorry...

But sorry was never enough

You stormed out my life slammed the door behind you

Lost me whenever I try to follow

Push me when I get too close

It was a good bye I didn’t want to accept

You are gone, and now comes another

The rope of ties has tethered itself once again

My heart’s not mine, and I have given it up to another

The same old sharp words I throw and the same old mistakes

I am a sinner

But this time I can’t say sorry

I no longer am...

Closure!

This is what I wanted to say, but never had the courage to tell you. This is what I wanted to ask, but I was just too afraid to know the truth. This is what I felt, but I know you-- of all the people, wouldn't care.

Ours wasn't the most exciting of love stories, because we met in the most unexciting way; through chat and text. It was summer and as summer loves come and go; you came into my life showering the darkest corners of it with the brightest of lights. That's how I felt when I was with you; I felt safe, loved and even a little high.

You knew, I loved writing because for me, writing is closer to thinking and for more than a year now, I have been drowning in my thoughts. But, recently, you have once again starred in my mind. I keep on blocking out all the memories of you and me, but I guess, I can never really forget you. I can only remember the most opulent days of both of our lives together.

What you don't know is that I really, really-- seriously, loved you. I had this illusion that you were the one, star-crossed love of my life. Can you believe that? I guess, I can't. I was never really that one person to fall in love that way. But, you were different. Ours was a love story waiting to break apart. I knew that from the start, but I chose to believe that no matter what happens, you loving me and I loving you was enough.

I still clearly remember the day when you told me that you were breaking up with me. It was a days after that trial and error kind of relationship that we both agreed. I was the one to call you and decided to clear things up then you just told me that no label would be better for the both of us. You either have the feeling of you didn't and I guess, you felt that you don't love me anymore and I'm thinking that your just pressured of a lot of stuffs, so I agreed right away without letting you explain the reason why neither me asking for some rationale.

I am still so confused on why you broke up with me. Is it the distance? Or did you find someone better there? I need answers and I'm afraid to know the truth. I don't want to live a life filled with insecurities and fears. Whatever your reasons are I'm ready to accept it. In fact since the relationship has ended I accepted it. I need answers. I want closure. I need closure.

A Point of View

I want to die. Have you ever been there? Have you ever felt that? It isn't that a pleasant feeling. It's a point of view. It's not like in movies when you see things dark and sad. I can still see the colors but they have no meaning. I still see the light, but there's a different darkness. One taking up the space of happiness and happiness is not light.

Many events gives me this point of view. Mostly big problems. Nice people, people like you who want to help will get me to discuss the problems, maybe even found the answers. But what people won’t realize is that even when problems saved, My point of view is still the same.

Let me describe to you what I see now. I see an escape. Yes, your right, this is an ESCAPE, I'm a COWARD, I should look for a solution. But, I'm too far to find a solution. I only have an escape.

You are Never Forgotten

My love for him will be unforgettable. His smile makes my world worth living for. I lust for his every touch and every moment makes my life so much flutter and bright. He will never understand the love that burns within me, that makes me weep when I'm not by his side. I feel empty, I feel lost, I feel alone without him by my side.

The sun came up and I know how it would end. I saw it in his eyes. We both knew that this would end and how this would end, who were we kidding anyway? Ourselves? Maybe for a time.

Friends who became lovers. That is how we are. I realize that you were the empty space in my heart, you filled it so completely but now it aches for you. I will always love you. You are a part of me. You will always be a part of me. What's that line from one of my favorite song? "It's better to feel pain than nothing at all, the opposite of love is indifference". So I will embrace the pain because to feel pain is to know I have loved and I love you so.

But a new chapter must begin. For you, for me, for us. We will go on but my love for you will never be lost. Wherever we end up in life, you will always be remembered.

My Love for You is like a Chocolate!

Would you agree to be the darkest chocolate I love?

The ones that brings delight and joy to my very simple life.

I would agree to be the laptop on your knees,

The movie that you always want to see before you go to sleep.

I wouldn’t mind to get a message from you from time to time,

To feel your fingers going up and down my fragile spine.

Instead, I’d burn you with the hottest kiss,

Remiss of you if you don’t feel it on your lips.

My passion towards you grows day by day,

And soon is coming the expected day.

When I can simply let it go,

And you can simply indulge it slow.